Practicing in the Light of Perfection

Ocean views <3

Perfection is a funny thing in todays society. We all want it, we all crave it, we all need it and we will do anything to achieve it even if it makes us unhappy in the process. We force ourselves to have visions of always having to be bigger, better, and more shiny than what we are. But what happens when leave the idea of perfection behind? Let me tell you how I learned what is truly perfection and how to achieve it just by meditating.

When I was younger I used to strive to be perfect and achieve perfection all the time in everything I did.  I wanted to be the perfect daughter, sister, friend, student, family member, and member of society. All of this want to be perfect and feeling like I had to be perfect followed me through out the majority of my life. When I started dating seriously I wanted to be the best girlfriend ever and would beat myself up if I made even the smallest mistake. During college I wanted to prove I could be the perfect student as well as the perfect employee so I worked 40 plus hours and would not sleep to achieve my 3.8 average.  Then when I started meditating, yoga, and working towards a healthier lifestyle for myself and the strive and want for perfection followed me onwards. I would beat myself up for simple little slips, I would condemn myself saying I was not doing things properly or to the best of my ability, but worst of all I would stop doing things I knew made me a happier healthier person because "I could not achieve them to the extent of perfection". All of this tore me to pieces and literally almost killed me. All the pressure for perfection I put on myself to live such a happy healthy amazing life was the thing that almost put my life in danger of almost not existing at all.

Since then, over the last two years I have worked towards letting go of that need to strive for perfection and controlling my life to be a perfect story. Slowly I started to realize that I did not need to be perfect I just need to be me, no matter how messy or chaotic I was. I was perfection I did not need to search or strive to achieve it. I still struggled with wanting to be more perfect and held on to certain ideals of what perfection was until I was handed what perfection really was.

My Very Own Meditation Corner

I really started to learn how to let go of my ideals of perfection when I started to look at my meditation practice, or what I viewed at the time as a "lack of meditation practice", a few months ago. I was becoming frustrated with myself for my lack of sitting down, and doing my "ritualistic" meditation daily. When I would sit down to do this ritualized meditation practice my thoughts would often interfere, or I would feel chaotic and unfocused. I would often leave meditations feeling more angry or upset than happy and joyful because I did not achieve the perfect mediation.

One day while I was running by the sea I realized how joyous I was feeling and how my run was more meditative than my ritualistic meditation was. I started to take more consideration in how I was feeling during certain activities; baths, walking, yoga, cooking, reading, all the like. Each day it changed for me, somedays sitting in silence was the meditation my body and mind needed, other days it was a relaxing candle lit bath, or a run through nature or by the sea. This is when it hit me; just like other things in life meditation is a practice it is not perfection as it is perfection in its self no matter the meditation.

Candle Lit Bath :D

Meditation is always what it is supposed to be in that exact moment no matter what the activity is that brings it on; whatever it is it is always joyful peace, calm, and love. Meditation is about releasing negative emotion, attachment and energy and how can we do that if we are constantly wanting to achieve a "perfect meditation"? Life is quite the same in the fact that when we focus on doing everything "perfectly", instead of realizing how the things we are doing are quite perfect in themselves, we will never truly live a happy well adjusted life. When we focus on perfection it takes our sight off of the beauty in that moment and takes it to futuristic things that we may never achieve because we cannot see the current beauty. Does that mean I never sit down and take part in my ritualistic meditation practice, no; all it means is that I take that meditation for what it is no matter what happens, because no matter what it is perfect in that moment.

Meditation is always perfection no matter how chatty your mind is, no matter what activity you are doing to achieve that stillness and joyful enlightenment, and no matter where you are. Life is quite the same in the fact that no matter what it is perfect, you just need to look at it for what it truly is and instead of what it is not. Meditation has taught me to let go of perfection almost completely in my life just because meditation is not perfect it can sometimes be a chaotic mess, just like all aspects of life, but it is beautiful just the same. Truth, beauty, and rawness is perfection and everything is truth, beauty and rawness when we open our eyes to it. 

Magical Forest Truths 

The forest may have rotting leaves and logs, have insects that fly and buzz around, animal poop, and mud on the ground but we never condemn it for being anything less than perfect and magical. Now use those same eyes to look at your own life and meditation, because they are both the same as the grungy, dirty forest that we all see as perfection. We all have ability to achieve perfection we just need to change the eyes we view it with.