Beautiful Beings are Found in Mindfulness and Presence

A silent run in afternoon sun beams.

I have always found love in silence and comfort in its presence. I often crave silence to just be with me and my thoughts, I experience it with open arms and open an heart. I enjoyed meditation, yoga, and other activities that involved basking in silence. But was I truly getting the full benefits and incorporating silence into my life and being?

Lately I got to thinking about silence and how we experience it in our everyday lives. How we experience our thoughts, our feelings, and just our being as a whole. Do we allow ourselves to full heartedly experience everything that we are, that we feel, that we think? Or do we numb ourselves, choke down our anxiety, and desensitize ourselves?

An organic meal I prepared & ate in silence.

With technology and other modern day developments these days it is very possible to not be alone even if we are physically alone. We are able to numb, to an extent, whatever feelings we are experiencing in a given moment by picking up our cell phone to go on pintrest/facebook, go for a drink in a near by bar, listen to crazy uppy music, grab some easy to go food that we do not have to sit down to eat, read a book while we are eating alone at a restaurant or surf the net for some funny videos. All these things are great to a point, but often we turn to these things to numb a feelings of; anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, resentment, and others. All these modern day developments have hindered our ability to cope and just experience our emotions for what they are.

As of late I have been watching myself and take note of my feelings and what I was doing when I experienced them. As I did this I started to notice three major themes; one I ate my feelings away a lot of the time (even if i was just feeling bored), two I used music to tune out my thoughts and emotions during times of intense emotion, and three I often picked up my phone to surf the net when I was alone and feeling anxious about being alone. I was doing a whole lot of numbing myself and not experiencing my full power of mindfulness and emotion. I was not being present with myself, I was practicing drifting into other worlds during every part of my day except when I was meditating or practicing yoga.

This is when I decided to challenge myself to be more present; to experience every emotion I was feeling at every moment, to be mindful of my being and others, to not numb but live in every thought and feeling no matter if it was good or bad, to not ignore but embrace everything for what it is. It started slowly, walking to and from places without listening to music or looking at my phone to surf or text so that I could be mindful about what was going on around me. I eased into eating, when alone, while having no distractions of music/email/cell phone/ tv/ etc. Then I started taking transit while not looking at my phone, reading a book, listening to music, or having a phone conversation; which for me sometimes can stir up a lot of anxiety because I sometimes do not have a personal bubble during my trip.

An amazing view I noticed waiting
for transit.

Even though I have a journey ahead of me until I am more present in every situation and am living more truly mindful in my waking moments I can already see the benefit. I am more aware of my feelings and thoughts, more aware than I have ever been. Until recently when I was asked how I was doing I would often say; fine, good, or meh, all because most days I actually did not know how I was doing or what I was feeling. Now most days I can say not only how I am actually doing but also how I am truly feeling. I am using words like feeling "off", "down", or "out of sorts" less and less. I am learning where my feelings are coming from most of the time, and I am also learning how to cope with them without numbing myself or relaying on technology. My senses have become more awaken, colours are brighter, smells are stronger, and things feel different to touch. I am finally starting to truly experiencing most of my life for what it is not what I want it to be, think it should be, or make it to be, I am experiencing it for what it truly is.

When we unplug and open ourselves to the world around us we start to see things as they truly are. Good or bad we see life as it is, we see ourselves as we are not who we should be, and we feel true emotion without fear. We open doors for ourselves for true healing, growth, self knowledge, and true love. Try taking simple steps to just being with yourself and experiencing your true thoughts, feelings, and being. Start with a walk with no distractions, or eating meals with no distractions then move on to more from there. Watch your senses, your heart open and bloom into that beautiful being that has always been there but you have unknowingly been hiding from yourself and the world.

Sunset silence enjoyed by me and my love <3